that's all I have to say - right now I am so busy with my children
 about how scorpians can glow in the dark I don't have time to write much
 else - if there are any Howard Stern fans out there today was
 Debbie Queef Day but I missed it because my Sirius
 in in my smashed up car - figures - he finally
 remembers me and poof - I am not able to listen
 - as always www.xlibris.com/thedestroyer.html - I still have 10 free books left
 - get 'em while there hot believe it or not I am getting rid of them pretty quick -
 Thanks to all those interested....free or not it's a great bargain
- esp. when it gets onto Amazon...
Love and Kisses
Debbie

and it wasn't my fault at all - no drugs or alcohol OF ANY kind were invloved -
when the cops came they could obviously see that I was in shock, but not impaired
but the kids were in the backseat buckled in and now my evil ex is trying to say I was
high and the kids weren't buckled in - it boils my blood - like I'm not upset as it is
I got these PEPBOYS  - tires - don't ever go there everyone I talked to said they had problems
with them - and they BOTH blew out at the same time I lost control and SMASH - right into
a pole, fortunately no one else was involved, no injuries, except my poor son has a black
blue mark on his right cheek...I am so distraught and here comes ASSHOLE - saying it was my
fault and all these horrible things like I don't feel bad enough as it isl Here I am doing better
than ever in every area and WHAM - life sure knows how to burst bubbles - I need sleep
I had off today - what a great day off - every May as long as I can remember has sucked -
every February is great and this year was no exception - too much pain to write any more - talk to you soon www.xlibris.com/thedestroyer.html

I hope everyone has a good one - I have my crazy kids with me - one obsessed
 with Ben Ten, the other spilling blue paint all over my carpet
( my bad, I must have been insane to buy it - it was 1.00 at Target - DONT BUY IT!!!)
 - anyway - I have to get them to a dollar store for pool toys.
They are dying to go the pool...
www.xlibris.com/thedestroyer.html

Just take a look at this site- the mess that it is and you can see how
screwed up my life is - we had fruit flies in here because my son wanted
to make a strawberry plant - I threw that think right out - we had to put
bleach in all of the sinks and bathrooms in this place my place is immaculate
and I am keeping it that way - it smells SOOO good in here not like the
yucky mice infested hell hole we lived at before - I kind of miss
the traffic - I like hearing people fighting and cops and all that- that's
cool - heroin deals on the corner - but I  am a writer, but my kids
are not and they are coming tomorrow!!! I am sooo excited to see them I can't
wait - today we are going down the shore on the beautiful Memorial Day Weekend
But remember - it is to remember those who have died for us in the past -
Love, Debbie - www.xlibris.com/thedestroyer.html

www.xlibris.com/thedestroyer.html try that and order today otherwise wait for amazon and it'll be cheaper or email me and I'll get your own autographed copy for you
Love Debbie - want to see babymama gotta' go - I never read Helter Skelter in all the years it's been out - I finally got it...can't wait to read it I'll give you the BLOW by BLOW.
Debbie

losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losing a boy/'girl is seemingly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshole anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another so why are there so many angry hateful people inside of it? I can understand certain aspects - losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another lifetime.                                                                                                        lifetime.                                                                                                        

please email me if you want a copy of the book because something is wrong with xlibris
sigh,,,I never get a break

now I have to type like this
because I did something
touched something and I am
sorry that xlibris is not working
propeerly either - emal me and
I will mail you a copy of my book

They told me this is working but I don't see how when I can't get anything to work everything in my life is so right and so wrong at the same time - now let see if this works - I am going to babble about how my son has asthma and my ex took him to Greenville PA where granny has a bunch of cats and when I talked to him he sounded horrible! remember - www.xlibris.com/thedestroyer.html
and see Taxi Driver again - You taking to me? I don't see anybody else around here fucking talking to me? OR whatever the fuck he says I'm just seeing if this works it better or I'm gonna freak.

It's not me it's the site - go to www.xlibris.com/thedestroyer.html

and you can see what happened to it - I don't know either - all I know is that I found that the amazon.com number is1 866 216 1072 - I never had to use it but I ordered three books and got one WAY after I ordered the other one - and always remember - go to www.xlibris.com/thedestroyer.html to get my great fabulous book - I was upset yesterday because my son is away and his "dad" takes him to a place with CATS where he is horribly allergic and I was so upset to hear him sniffling and struggling to breathe - what am I going to do - it's raining outside - I am in love and all is well - I wish I could get back the rant from last night it was a good one but alas - I can't and I don't know what happened to it I'll try

losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another so why are there so many angry hateful people inside of it? I can understand certain aspects - losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another lifetime.                                                                                                        lifetime.                                                                

I just wrote a shit load of stuff and it came out all fucked up I will try to fix tomorrow - go to xlibris.com - hit search and punch iin destroyer it'll make sense

losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another so why are there so many angry hateful people inside of it? I can understand certain aspects - losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another lifetime.                                                                                                        lifetime.                               

losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another so why are there so many angry hateful people inside of it? I can understand certain aspects - losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another lifetime.                                                                                                        lifetime.                               

so why are there so many angry hateful people inside of it? I can understand certain aspects - losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another lifetime.                                                                                               

so why are there so many angry hateful people inside of it? I can understand certain aspects - losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another so why are there so many angry hateful people inside of it? I can understand certain aspects - losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another lifetime.                                                                                                        lifetime.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Voyage to Atlantis - one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard - my song - just got home from work I work with a real piece of work.. I was soooo tired today I miss the shit out of my kids 'cause they're going to grandma's house for a week but I'll see them memorial weekend - I really can't take not seeing them until next Saturday - that sucks - I played kick ball with them in the backyard of my ex's last night and the school which is only inches away from his house he DROVE to instead of walking even though my kids were begging him to walk - another curious individual... gotta go the police are after me.www.xlibris.com/TheDestroyer.html
Don't forget - buy a copy - it's an easy read...

book of all time...or at least an amateur trying to write the greatest book of all time - and I only say that not to down myself but I will not be a professional until someone outside of my inner circle has read my words - I really hope you can afford it and enjoy it. The Destroyer.
I had a book The Bendendite Community that I drempt about and then wrote in 1996 that never saw the light of day - that's why I self published this. It is hard for an unknown to get a foot in the door unless you are a remarkable writer or you know someone - come on, I know of many a famous people/writers that churn out shit or the same shit time after time - there ain't nothing wrong with my writing - I have to hone my craft of course but this for me is the only way I know how - to get feedback from the people not agents, for now I really want to know what people think - even to tear it apart - I don't care I am not faint of heart - sometimes my feelings get hurt but for the most part I just want my children to be happy and healthy - God bless the latter - I really am grateful for their health - I love them like I never thought I could love. God truly blessed me with them...
SO again - it is 1 am I am absolutely exhausted and rambling like a motherfucker but the URL is www.xlibris.com/TheDestroyer.html
give it a test drive or wait for it to come to amazon in a few weeks and it will be cheaper - if you are really hurting for money and want a copy email me and I will gladly send you one...within reason - I'm not a fool - I can tell the true ones from the fakes - believe me I can....Love all of you that have supported me through every emotion I've ever had.
Debbielosing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another so why are there so many angry hateful people inside of it? I can understand certain aspects - losing a child or something inexplicable and horrific but losin a anab hurst seeningly just as bad until you wake up one day and realize the guy.girl was an asshile anyway,
I know reamble, rambke. The point is live each day to the fullest and NEVEr take life for granted - you only have one life after all  - when I thing ==k back to the 1970's early 80's when I was a young girl of 10 (1980) and I used  to play and listen to 98.1 - Terry Young - I found that John Belushi died - John Lennon - I played Shawn Cassidy records and pretended I was his girlfriend or that I was Nancy Drew, Bess Marvin or my personal favorite, George Fayne, those of you in the know know that Geo. was girl - it's ;ate and I had a very good, busy day miss the HELL out of my kids but my ex us such an ass 0 he just is and always will be - takes me to court at the drop of a hat and my son has asthma and he doesn't even know how to take care of it - my poor baby had to cry to me on the phone that he couldn't breathe before assface would do something about it. Anyway - you know the drill www.xlibris/thedestroyer.html so be who I was a fresh girl who when everyone  else was worried about boys I was in the B>dalton bookstores smelling books - do they even still have those stores??? Or is it all Barnes and Noble and
Borders? What about the book swaps? I am going to have book signings in Philly and as soon as I know where they are  I will have them listed here. I love you all I am so tired....but I had to write to my angel fans - pray for my children I am so missing them and the pool opens up on Sat and assface won't have them back foir hotdog time even though I got tickets and my kids were all excited about it - he thinks just because he has no one that he gets to control the kids like I let him have them TWO Christmas eves in a row - but not this one I am getting mad juist thinking about it - even at Halloween the kids want to walk around and get candy and all he wants to do is go to some friggin' parents without partners church grouo - with them ! Is he an ass or what????  He says it's about the kids but it's not about them it's about me leaving him 5 years ago and it's all in the book and you know what - the first two or three years I felt guilty until he started taking me to court and shit especially at my lowest point when I had gotten laid off from a job that I hated for 12 years and I stayed there so he could get a good job then when he got one now he forgets who helped him get there I don't want a pat on the back - just get off my back - and let me love my kids - they want to watch Chuckie let them watch Chuckie - hell I was watching the excorcist at age 10 and look how well adjusted I turned out???   Fred the Elephant Boy from teh Howard Stern Show just told me he is a flamer so this is for my flaming friend   Goodnight - I got fucked so hard tonight my pussy stiill hurts so let me go ice it down - man does my stud have a big one - like a nightstick - love 'em - gotta go babiecakes - and sorry I haven't gotten any good piv my man just absolutely forbid it  I love being naked but he just can't handle it and beefy or nor I still have a VERY fuckable body - That I iknow though I should get a pole 'cause nothing beats off the pounds like dancing 5 hours a night - and the money  - oh there are some days I miss and othere that really seem like another lifetime.                                                                                                        lifetime.                                                                

eventually will be on amazon but right now www.xlibris.com/TheDestroyer.html sells it for 20 if you want to get it cheaper wait a month for amazon. I'll hook it up but for right now I'm too burnt,,,give me a minute...
The Destroyer will be here - everytime I think it's done I do something like read the back cover and have a heart attack. I tried to make it as perfect as possible but I only had the help of one other - thanks Marvin - and though he is magical he's not a magician - Happy Birthday to Flyin' Bryan - I know you are out there somewhere and have to say I never met anyone quite like you before or after - you are Keith in the book by the way - he's - your a good dude whever you are...
Having said that I just got Forensic Files on DVD must watch and my brain is swirling my kids woke me up all weekend long - they like to sleep with me and I had them sleeping in their own beds and then...I don't know...it wasn't happening this weekend - mostletof or however you spell it

I am really going for the dietary cleansing crap - I am going to be healthy as ever - tired of feeling depressed - my menstrual cycle I can't do anything about but I can do things to help - like work out, which I've been doing more. Eat better, no toxins, etc. Just what the doctor orders. I want to be as healthy as can be...It's going to take all of my will power but I will do it if it kills me??? Makes sense?? I have to publish before my 5 year old whose been running around in a bathing suit all day rewrites over what I've just written not that it was all that profound -  I have more important things to do like clean the toilet.

as a child and while my mom always taught me strength and perseverance my dad taught me never to take life so seriously and so many people do it's just sad. We only come around ONE time ONE time - live and breathe and even if you get depressed or on drugs or have sex with a hundred people never take it seriously (unless you get aids or something from it, then that just sucks) just enjoy your life.
I watch people driving themselves crazy over the stupidest things and I can't get it and never will.
Good and bad days appreciate those small moments and let go of the little things bugging you - and your money troubles will NEVER go away and if they do you'll have even BIGGER worries.
Peace.
Forensic Files is on...

The Destroyer is but a few weeks away I often wonder if it will have any impact at all - I would love for people to get something out of it emotionally/entertainment wise that I have in the past from books - books are my absolute favorite form of entertainment - music second, tv next - my kids are first but much different catagory - I just want to do for people what some have done for me - I am reading "Witch" by Glenn Puit and it is really good. I strongly recommend...

For real - if I can get through the busy signal the book will be available in days,,,

but truth is - drugs if used recreationally - and I mean:

a - smoking pot - one or two hits a night or just anough to buzz, or on weekend
b - cocaine - light weekend use (though I have yet to see this - it always turns from 1 8 ball to 3 or 4)
c - heroin, very, very occasionally, though done this way can make you sick
d - percocetes - once a weekend - two or three and a few beers - that's the best format
e - college use of mushrooms, LSD, ecstasy...I couldn't even imagine using them now - the sight of my cat use to blow my mind on these things - the last time I did mushrooms was in 1995 and it was just the best experience I ever had and because it was so great I vowed it could never be topped so that was the last time I did them - but I had a brain ache for a few days after-- that was not pleasant..pot helped

Hence, then I became a raging drug addict - spending 3,000 dollars a month, to me that it too much I make good money but, esp. now with kids, not that much money, esp. now in my new swank apartment. I started using benzos to the point of death because I could't handle the fact STILL that after three years I just can never use an opiate again - my drug counselor said that benzos are the worst, even worse than heroin, though there are more deaths from heroin, I know this fact because J the cop, my beloved fiance - takes a body or two out a week, at least from a heroin OD, he is in conflict with my counselor because he thinks it's absurd and if he was on the street he'd think differently - but fact is, most people mix and that's where the problem lie. No matter, I stopped the benxo use and the "mysterious" depression I had is gone - we, as addicts foolishly self medicate and it's ALWAYS wiith the wrong meds. I really want to go for the brass ring - Christ, can't I move on - I am still stuck in 1986 if I want to be honest with myself and my only hope of moving to that higher level is to do what I should - I wish I was rich enough to have someone walk around with me all the time...I just want to be sober for the love of GOD - why is it such the challenge - I have everything a person could possibly need in life, I have my health, my kods are healthy...one of my friend's twin sister was raped and murdered at the age of 13 and she is sober.  I have NOTHING that horrific in my past and yet I struggle like you wouldn't believe.
Ever notice how chronic users have the constant look of sadness in their eyes, in their soul? It's because there is nothing there - and people who are clean, some are miserable, but for the most part, they have strength - I want that strength....I want it...

Mother's day is next week don't forget.
I saw Iron Man last night and it was awesome - I always dug Robert Downey Jr. as an actor but never Gwenyth Paltrow - but I really liked her in this movie - Action - great background esp. for someone like me who isn't familiar with the Iron Man character - very good - the two hours flew by and I pray for a sequel. Which I imagine there will be - I have to type very very fast my kids are here and when you have a 4 and a 6 year old - you know how it goes - even with a movie on it's hard to capture their attention - they want me to be as riveted as they are by Alvin and the Chipmunks.
How do we as humans make it through life - when I am depressed I often think about how people do it who have nothing. I have almost everything I want and I still get major attacks at times - the only thing I don't have but wish for is my book to be a raging success somehow or lead to subsequent success - but you know that saying - "Don't ask for something because you might get what you wish for."? There is a reason for that. Everything I've ever wished for I've gotten but there is ALWAYS a string attached - you have to decide what you're willing to give up to get.