The freedom is what I miss the most about being young - I still have that same set of panties from ALL the way back - I kept them all these years (no I can't wear them they're all messed up and stretched now) but I can stare and remember the entire feeling inside me when I wore them. It was the most magical time in my life - it was brief but transformed me like no other - well , they're have been other times of jumping to the next level but that was the first and it was so fucking good. That's what makes it so great. Everything about it was pure Hollywood.

If I could harness the way I write and make it - more compact - I could be a great writer _ i  am getting the hang of what people have been telling me for years - I gotta keep it to the point- I say the same thing too much - when diary styling = it's different but when you're wriitng a novel and there is a flair to it - maybe that is my goal that I should be doing - practicing my writing so that I can write somethig really a part of pop culture.The good thing with writing is I don't have to worry about age and beauty like an actress though the changes of age do suck   I remember grace slick saying "you start to ask -what is this funky shit growing over here?" It's the truth...I think I have to do that - my destiny?